Chris and I left for a week for a business trip.  My mom stayed with the kids.  I told Mom "We're working on potty training so, you know, make sure she uses the toilet."  And the great thing is that my mom knew my definition of "working on potty training" meant that I'd bought Gigi big girl panties and she'd worn them a few times.  The other great thing about my mom is that if you drop off a 2 year old for a week, when you get that child back he/she will be toilet trained.  God bless my mom.

So I take Will and Gigi to Wal-Mart on the snow day.  Most of the ice had melted, but it was still pretty cold outside and there were still some ice patches.  Ice puts me in a frantic mood.  Mostly because I just know I die because some Texan in a big deisel truck and a large cowboy hat is out there on the road at the same time as I am.  Laugh if you will.  It's one of my biggest fears.

My other big fear is a newly potty trained child, a full shopping cart at Wal-Mart , and being alone with both kids - one who is too old to go in the ladies room.

"I gotta use potty."  She says.  And she's calm about it.  Problem is, Gigi is calm about everything, creepy calm, so you know, she might be able to hold it and she might be on the verge of an accident.  You just don't know.  I push the cart by the Greeter.  I promise her I'm not going to steal the things in my cart, that I just need to take my 2 year old to the restroom.  The Greeter looks at me, like I might be lying.  In this economy even housewives could steal romaine lettuce, polenta, eggs, face wash, and Valentine cards.  She skeptically agrees to let me pass to go to the restrooms.

I park Will outside the ladies' room.  I instruct him to yell if ANYONE approaches him.  He agrees to watch the cart.  Gigi runs in the restroom.  She runs into a stall and before I can follow her in, I hear her flip the lock.

I peek in.  She's dancing and laughing.

Bang bang bang.  "Gigi, sweetheart, open the door so Mommy can help you."  I say, you know, sweetly and without panic.

"NO!"  She sang.  SANG.

The woman next to me, holding her daughter's door shut, smiled sympatheticly. 

"Gigi.  I need in to help you.  I need to take your coat off and help you."

"No THANK YOOOOOOUUUU!"  She sang.  I could see her dancing through the edge of the door which I was pressed up against.

"Gigi!' 

A screaming child entered the restroom.  I looked over and saw our beloved preschool director from church and her upset daughter.

"Hey!"  I said.

"Hey!'  She said.

"How are you doing?"  I asked.  The sympathetic lady looked at me like I was stupid.  The preschool director's daughter was mid-tantrum.  Only a moron asks how someone is doing with that sort of evidence.

"Good!  How are you doing?"  The director asked.

"Great!  See you at church tonight."  I said.  Then I turned to bang on the door.  "Gigi.  Gigi, I need you to unlock this door right now.  I need to get in there."

"No Ma'AM!"  She laughed.

The sympathetic woman will not be visiting our church.  I feel confident about that.  The preschool director offered her daughter to send under the stall and unlock the door.  I thanked her, but then said the floor was wet and nasty.  She agreed.  Right then I saw Gigi take off her coat and throw it on the floor.

"Nasty."  The three of us said.

"Gigi!"  I banged on the door a few more times.  "I need you to open this door.  Right.  Now.  Your teacher is here and she'll be sad if you don't come out."

"I'm using the potty!"

"No.  You're not.  You're dancing.  You need to let me in!"

"No Maaaa'aaaaammmmmm."  She flushed the toilet a few times and then spun around, giggling.

I checked out the mechanics of the door and decided one swift kick, SWAT team style, would break down the door.  But, you know, that might mean we were banned from Wal-Mart.  Finally, I just decided we'd gone at this long enough.  Sooner or later someone was going to either take Will or think he was an abandonded child and the thought of someone thinking I would abandon my firstborn at the Wal-Mart was breaking my heart.

"Gigi.  Open the DOOR!"  Bang, bang, bang.

"No thank you Mooooommmmmyyyyyy!" 

"Alright.  Well, I'm leaving.  I'll see you later."  I backed away from the door.  Sympathetic Mom turned to Disbelief Mom - she looked at me like I was horrible.  Suddenly the lock flipped and there Gigi stood.

"Don't LEAVE me!  I LOVE you!" 

And then she did her thing on the potty and we went out to where Will waited for us.

"Do you know how long that took?!"  He asked.

"Yeah."

"Why do girls take forever in the bathroom?"  He asked.

"Our's have doors."  I said.  I frowned at his little sister who was singing Jesus Loves Me.

He looked at me funny. 

"Really?  You don't have it on the side of the wall?"

"No.  We don't."

"Why?"

I decided that was a discussion not to have on an icy day at Wal-Mart, so I threw some candy into the cart and promised if we could get out of there without another word about the bathroom facilities, there were goodies in the kids' futures.