To My Dearest Kate Spade tote-

I love you.  I love your simplistic style.  I love your size - perfect for my things and some things my son packs in you (stuffed dog, rocks, sticky candy without the wrapper).  I love how when things are spilled on you, you make it so easy to clean.  I love your sophistication.  I love everything about you.  That's why I have to tell you the reason you are up in the closet is not your fault. 

I put you in the closet a month ago, completely gutted out of my belongings.  It broke my heart to do so.  Motherhood has taken the drivers seat again and style and function are indulgences I will not be able to have for at the very least one year.  Maybe two.

You are not large enough and you are too stylish to fit my life right now.  I had another baby.  You weren't here with the first baby, so this is all new to you.  I cannot stuff you with diapers, clean or unclean.  You are not large enough for the wipes.  You will not do for a changing mat.  There is no where to stuff the tube of Boudreau's Butt Paste inside your stylish totiness.  You are not suited for carrying burp cloths, multiple hats, hairbows, socks, changes of clothing, the rattle, or anything else the baby needs.  I've moved on, for now, to a rather clumsy and large diaper bag (more of a suitcase if you ask me). 

Don't feel like I'm replacing you, darling tote.  I promise complete fidelity to you as there is nothing belonging to me in this diaper bag/suitcase I now carry.  If I'm lucky I may be able to squeeze one tube of lipgloss inside the bag, but most of the time there isn't room and the rest of the time I forget what lip gloss is for...  At this stage of my life the only thing that replacement purse says about me is "professional mother". 

Never fear.  I know from experience one day you and I will reunite, unless by that time the infant has grown into playing dress up with my shoes and my purse.  I look forward to many more days with you on my arm, unless you are in her room, stuffed to the brim with plastic play jewelry or Barbie dolls...

Until then, little black tote, collect dust in peace.